


A Silent Disturbance

by StarksInTheNorth



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon is for Cowards, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Plot? What Plot?, Post-Episode 8, Rey is Not a Palpatine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-07 12:23:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21458005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarksInTheNorth/pseuds/StarksInTheNorth
Summary: Rey and Kylo keep feeling each other across the force at all the wrong times.~A series of drabbles that will potentially have a plot besides Angst.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 42





	1. Please Don't Go Away

**Author's Note:**

> All chapter titles are Halsey lyrics.

Rey may have closed the doors of the Millenium Falcon, but she could not sever the connection between herself and the new Supreme Leader. She has tried, every time it opened and often enough while it was shut, but some strange part of the Force still tried to draw the two towards one another. When she feels the change in the air that marked the presence of another, darker being in her mind, she shuts her eyes and thinks of sand. It is the only respite she has found, dreaming of Jakku's wasteland. The other end of her thoughts cannot stand the grimy roughness of it, and pushes her away as she sends images of hills of sand and Niima outpost in his direction.

Kylo Ren, too, tried to cut her off in the beginning. Whenever she feels him, there are waves of anger, betrayal, and murderous rage. Everything Rey has come to expect from him he throws at her. Eventually, he relents. He whispers to her: think of what we could do, together. There are promises of control and power - Nothing could stop us, Rey. Take my hand, come with me! - and visions of grandeur - Anything you want will be yours! - but it will not sway her. He cannot realize that this is not the man the scavenger so desperately wants to speak with again.

Finally, though, he arrives.

It is many standard months after the Battle of Crait, and she is at another former Rebellion outpost. This time, it is just Rey, alone with just R2D2 for company. She has come in search of kyber crystals, which were once known to be found in some abundance in a mine here, ages past. If all on this mission goes well, she will return to the Resistance's new headquarters with the ability to produce a new lightsaber for herself and any other Force-sensitive lifeforms she can convince to join her.

He flickers into her mind as Rey practices forms with her staff, a familiar push against the power that courses through her and beneath her skin. She swings it around, an added fierceness to her strikes. Pushing back her thoughts of her mission, she pretends she stands on Jakku again and fighting against dust on the winds. She does not even try to strike at his figure, because to attack him is to acknowledge that she feels his presence as he steps besides her.

"Rey." Her partner's voice is strained - if she did not know better she would think he sounded fragile. She feels his touch, so gentle against the skin of her shoulder. This is the first time he has said her name in a long time. When he has tried to address her, it has always been as 'scavenger' or 'sand girl.'

She pauses for an infinitesimal moment before stepping away and swinging her staff down twice as hard as before, shaking the ground it hits with an intense force that rattles the nearby rocks and even her own stance.

"Rey - "

The girl he begs for spins faster, ignoring his words as best she can with the man inside her head. It is the third time he says her name that she finally stops her forms and snaps to attention.

"Rey, please."

"What is it?" This is not the Supreme Leader worming his way into her thoughts. This is the boy-man she once thought she could save. But Ben is still the Supreme Leader, he is still a wielder of the Dark Side intent on cutting her friends down and destroying the freedom and democracy that she fights so hard to protect. A part of Rey still wants to trust him, but there is no caution to great to take with such a deadly opponent seeing and feeling her every thought.

"It isn't like that."

"You know it is." She looks up, finally giving him the dignity of recognizing the pull of him in the Force. Their eyes meet and Rey is drowning in him. She has only known Ben for so long but she still can see the pain in his face. The scar is freshly healed but it is met with dark circles beneath his eyes and scrapes along the side of his jaw, not too deep to need a med droid or the application of bacta, but still bright red and hurting. His black tunic, normally pressed and in immaculate condition, is wrinkled in all the places he moves - she does not think he has changed in several days, or sleeping. Without control, Rey tries to pry into his mind to see when the last time he ate was, but Ben pushes back.

"I had breakfast." His dark eyes narrow at her intrusion but he steps closer all the same. "Rey, I'm lost."

And just like that, her barriers break and all the concern in the world floods over the dam she has so carefully built.

"You don't need to be."

Rey drops her staff and steps so close that she must crane her neck to meet him through more than just their Force Bond. She reaches up, but his hand bats hers away before Rey can hold his face like she wants to. Pity. He thinks she pities him, when it is only her empathy with his pain that draws her in (and some other emotions as well, but those feelings are buried deeper than he will ever care to go).

"It isn't like that."

"I know it is." His pain and confusion radiate across the bond, powerful and unyielding. Rey is forced back from the intensity of his feelings. "I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have reached out like this."

"Ben - " His name rings from her lips like a desperate hymn.

She is running, trying to reach out to Ben. Her steps fall quickly on the ground but she pushes right through him as if he were a ghost, as if he were never really there. Rey falls to the surface of the hard planet and sinks her fingers into the dirt below.

Rey does not know when the first tear pushed its way into her eyes, but she wipes them all away in frustration. She tries to meditate to still the beating of her heart, but it will not rest so long as Ben is still alive inside Kylo Ren.


	2. And I'm Terrified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's next conversation with Rey doesn't go too well.

His heart pounds in his chest, thundering in his ears as the blood swells in his veins. There is anger in him, but Kylo Ren is used to it. He embraces that pulsing red pumping through him. Anger is the lifeblood of the Dark Side, bringing its strength to life almost as much as one's own suffering. He lets the hatred for the Resistance seep into his veins, fueling the fire of the Force as he tosses his glowing red lightsaber between hands and slams it down onto a practice droid's outstretched arms. The wires within the droid's body spark defiantly as it fragments.

Kylo stops and heaves, his breath labored after the intensity of his practice drills. There is an order to run, a galaxy to conquer and an empire to form, a rebellion to crush, and a woman among it all destined to be found. Yet Kylo will not remove himself from his regular routines, not while he, General Hux, and his advisors are still gathering to reach the new flagship of the First Order. What is the point of the clerks and bureaucrats, with their incessant typing and constant forms, if not to run the organization of their endeavors? Kylo is still sorting through Supreme Leader Snoke's files and records, learning everything he can of the Order's structure and the duties he must assume to be a competent captain of it all.

This is not the life he wanted. She should be here, helping him to understand it all, lending their future her heart and verve and spark, but she refused him as if he were _nothing_, leaving him to face the consequences of both their actions and rule the entire galaxy alone. Kylo blinks back whatever emotion is stirring within. He must not look back. The past is dead to him, as she should be. He has killed one; Kylo does not think he could ever kill the other, not when there is still hope for his visions to come true. But he should not have reached out like he did the other day, reaching out and trying to trust someone who hates him so.

The walls sense the rise in Kylo's internal temperature and cold air thrums to life from the vents. He closes his eyes, embracing the bite of the breezes pushing against his skin. It rushes against the healed scar on his face and pours onto his bare chest. There is some joy in the solitude around him, joy that is interrupted quickly.

_She is here_. Kylo senses it before he sees her materialize as if she is a full-color hologram before him. Dust cakes her skin, but besides that, Rey looks healthier than he has ever seen her. There is more shape to her face, and to her curves, but he tries not to focus on them, instead glancing at the weapon at her waist. The lightsaber handle is simple, yet well made. Strong. She must have located more kyber crystals, then, or some way to make them. Kylo attentively studies the little, insignificant details until the flush has left his face. _Although all details of _her_ are significant_. He chases away these thoughts, calming his breath, stilling his anger. Only when his face is pale and his breathing study, does Kylo deign to look up at the woman waiting before him.

Their eyes lock. He does not know how to react this time. Should he ignore Rey, as he has done? Or make another effort to convert her, make her _see_?

"Ben." The way Rey says that name is infuriating, as if she does not recognize that there is more to him than the little, lost boy who seems to be the only one that she can see. Why is it so difficult for Rey to understand - he is so much more than the Skywalker blood that flows in his veins. He must be, or else what has everything been for? He always knew what it meant to be Luke Skywalker's nephew, Leia Organa-Solo's son, the pressure of purpose and bloodline weighing down on his young shoulders as if it was the only force tethering him to the planet.

But they never trusted him enough to share the burden - the glory - of being the product of Darth Vader's bloodline. The first time the words were whispered in his ear, Ben Solo had balked. He asked Skywalker for explanation, to glimmer some kind of understanding, but his vexing uncle only promised to tell him when he was older. It was Supreme Leader Spoke who told him the stories of his grandfather and fostered the deep connection he feels with the relative he will never meet. They share mutual passions for restoring order to the galaxy and rallying the lifeforms within it under the proper banner. His power with the Force is as great as Lord Vader's, too, flowing through his veins thicker than even his blood.

When will Rey see him for the man he truly is, for Kylo, Master of the Knights of Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, rather than that sniveling child?

She stares at his brooding silence, the way his brows knit together and his forehead creases. Her voice is soft and sweet. "What's wrong? I can sense your pain."

"The pain is good for me." Kylo swallows, trying to keep his voice from betraying him and the tumult of feelings inside.

"Ben - "

_The way Rey says that name will be the death of me_, he swears. It is joyful, light, hopeful - and it is not him. "Stop calling me that."

He regrets the words as the biting remark leaves his mouth. Rey's face falls, sorrow radiating off every part of her. His may have lashed out too strongly. "I can't help if you won't let me in."

"Who says I want your help?"

She steps away as he marches forward. "You told me your were lost."

He attempts again to approach her, but she backs and dances around him with those lightning-fast reflexes. He spins to follow her. "I am." Kylo closes his lightsaber blade in an attempt to offer some peace in this conversation. As it hums away, he swings the hilt and stows it in his belt. "I am lost without you, Rey. Come be with me. Meet me here."

"You know I cannot be where you are."

"Think of what we could do together." He clenches his hand in a fist before raising it, offering it to her like the first moment they truly connected. "We could be unstoppable, a force for any and all changes necessary to bettering people's lives."

She clutches her hands tightly in front of her.

"Please stop this." Her eyes glance away, landing on his chest. Rey blinks quickly and looks away, at something in the distance in whatever world she is in. "Why try to speak to me at all, if it wasn't a cry for support, for help?"

"Maybe I was lonely." He scoffs at his own words as his hand drops, but Rey takes them in stride and for their full value.

"You wouldn't need to be lonely, not with me." She bites her lip in a tantalizing way. Kylo focuses all his attention on ignoring that motion, but he knows he will be replaying it in his head for days to come. "We can change the world together, if you embrace the light, too. It doesn't need to be like this."

The silence falls between them, loud and awful. _Why must it be like this at all_? Rey drives a part of him crazy, something he does not understand nor does he truly want to. There is so much empathy radiating from her, he feels it in his bones and in his heart. Rey does not just want to change him, she wants to understand him in a way she did not before. Kylo does not know how to stop from destroying her, but he is sure that anything he does will destroy her in someway. She has maintained hope and wonder at the galaxy through so many skies and all the troubled winds that blew across the sand dunes of Jakku. Yet there is something in him that he is sure could blow all that away.

Kylo cannot let that happen. He cannot accept her until she accepts him.

"I will stand by the vision I saw when I touched your hand. We will stand together, or you will not at all." Kylo tries to hide whatever brewing emotions he has from pouring in at his eyes. "My plea was a moment of weakness, nothing more. It meant _nothing_."

Her eyes tear up, wells ready to spill. Her face is red in the way it gets - he saw this when he interrogated her and when they spoke after the battle with Snoke's guards.

"Goodbye, Ben." This time, the way Rey says his name breaks him.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think and come fangirl with me on [tumblr](http://www.starksinthenorth.tumblr.com/).


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